Amanda met Khalid E. one day in May 2003 and soon became pregnant by him. Khalid was an Egyptian who was in the US on an expired student visa. Amanda had previously been married to another man and shared custody of a daughter since their divorce in May 2002. She and Khalid had separate apartments and were not married. In July Khalid began abusing Amanda, and she details the horrific nature of the abuse in a document she wrote called “My Story” [** see below]. She described him as “a deceiving thief . . . con artist . . . chronic liar about everything.” Finally, she had experienced enough trauma and filed an Emergency Protective Order August 26, 2003 which was subsequently extended as a formal Domestic Violence Order on September 3, 2003 for a duration of three years.
Amanda didn’t see Khalid subsequent to the DVO and assumed he’d left the country for Egypt. Amanda considered several options concerning her pregnancy and selected adoption. She consulted several other agencies and attorneys but they wanted her to name the father. Finally, she contacted the adoption agency AOK in Nov 2003, and Atty. Carolyn A. met her November 19, 2003 in Covington, Ky. One of the first documents that Carolyn gave Amanda to sign was a disclosure stating that Carolyn was the sole owner of AOK and that she (Carolyn) would represent Amanda and not the adoptive parents (who would have their own attorney). Amanda did not wish to name the birthfather* because of the abuse history. She showed Carolyn the DVO order in which Amanda had blacked out the boyfriend’s name and the detailed “My Story” ** narrative of all the abuse. Carolyn agreed to help her and, over the next few weeks, worked out the arrangements for the adoption. [*Kentucky doesn’t have a putative father registry and permits an adoption to go forward where the girl knows the unmarried-to-her father but chooses not to name him.]
Amanda was pleased with her decision for an open adoption and, after she selected a couple in Wisconsin, enjoyed conversing with them and found them supportive of her during her pregnancy. Numerous documents show that Amanda fully embraced her adoption plan and that her financial needs during the pregnancy were met by the adoptive parents via the agency of AOK and its attorney Carolyn A. who managed the escrow account for Amanda’s benefit. The baby boy was born in Ft. Thomas, KY, April 4, 2004, and under Kentucky law was placed in a foster home in Louisville until the completion of the termination of Amanda’s parental rights and interstate compact approval of both Kentucky and Wisconsin. The termination hearing was held on April 12, 2004, in Jefferson County, Ky. Here is part of the transcript of the termination hearing:
Judge: And it’s my understanding that you know who the father is, but you’ve not named the father. Apparently, there’s some reason why you would like not to have him involved, and there is – you’ve got a domestic-violence order against him. Is that correct?
Amanda: Yes
Judge: Now, at any time, has he come forward to assert paternity of this child?
Amanda: No
Judge: Does he know about the child?
Amanda: Not really, no
Judge: He didn’t know that you were pregnant?
Amanda: Well, he kind of knew, but he – I told him I was going to have an abortion. At that time, that’s what I wanted to do, so I said that.
Judge: And you haven’t had any contact with him since then?
Amanda: No
Judge: Is that correct?
Amanda: He’s known where I was, too, so he – he could’ve came at any time. He just disappeared, pretty much. I think, maybe, he might have even went back to another country. He’s Egyptian, and that’s where he was raised, so –
Judge: All right
Amanda: -- he might have left the country”
In a subsequent conversation with her counselor a week later (April 19), Amanda was cheerful and relieved that the termination had occurred. She was even planning to visit her parents who were living in Florida. Amanda was also aware that the unnamed birthfather’s parental rights would be terminated in 60 days if he didn’t surface, and she expressed no reservations about this future event. The baby, meanwhile, went with the adoptive parents back to Wisconsin on April 14 after clearing the ICPC of both states. This would have been the end of the story, and there would have been no lawsuit brought against Carolyn, except for what was to follow (Part II: Khalid).
** “My Story” -- an unsolicited signed narrative Amanda gave Carolyn Nov 19, 2003
(read at the Jan 2009 trial and now part of the public record)
I am divorced going on two years and a mother of one almost three. I currently attend Gateway technical College with one semester remaining before becoming a Licensed Practical Nurse. This pregnancy was unplanned and has kept me from pursuing my career goals. My present daughter was planned for and I was self-sufficient and married at the time. I did consider abortion with this pregnancy but my sister had been through two of them and I believe that choice was not for me. I had two miscarriages trying to get pregnant with my daughter and experienced fertility problems myself resulting from my husband who had Reyes syndrome at adolescence. It made his sperm count low and mainly deformed. Finally, after a year or so of trying I became pregnant with this child, I was acting in an irresponsible way. I had missed a birth control appt. due to financial reasons I could not resolve. I had a short-term relationship of about five months, the man moved in with me soon after two months. {a note by Carolyn in the margin: Discussed 11/24; BF retained residence w/ his father; spent numerous nights w/ her; his name was not on her lease – not held out to community as a couple} You do not know enough about someone to let them into your life like that but I felt like I had [been] mistaken trying to help someone with the feeling of love. This man suffered with Crohn’s disease, which is non-hereditary. It’s a digestive disorder brought on by stress and moor diet habits. It is controlled by healthy lifestyle. He also had many legal problems resulting from a DUI and driving under suspension. With his doctors visits and legal fees. I became a financial mess. I paid for his medicine and legal fees and neglected my own needs. by doing this I put my own life in turmoil. Later I came to find out he had a drug problem and had stolen money as well as my computer among other things. The 29-year old man was addicted to darvocets a mild painkiller, prednisone, a steroid and illegal drugs like cocaine. He even left my little girl alone one night while I worked third shift. He had picked up two sixteen year old girls to party with. He was a deceiving thief and maybe even a con artist. He was a chronic liar about everything. Into the third month of my relationship, I knew it was not love and tried many times to end the relationship and that’s where the abuse started. It was hitting at first, then long periods of being kept hostage within my own apt. Many times, there were threats to kill me and or himself. It was a nightmare I never knew existed. No man had ever physically hurt me. Finally, a punch to the head while driving him to a court hearing on the expressway encouraged me to call the Woman’s crisis center and seek help. That is when I received my restraining order [August 26, 2003], packed what I could and left my apt I owed 1500+. I was approximately two months pregnant at that time. I knew when I must worry about my daughter, the unborn baby and me. If I were to stay with him, I would be endangering all of our lives. On top of all this, my car was repoed. Stress had made life so horrible that I could hardly get out of bed and I found my self only going to work once a week falling even more behind in my bills. My ex-husband came to my aid helping me with my daughter helping me get back and forth to work and helped me to move to a safe location. I don not know what I would of done if it was not for him. It formed a new relationship between us. I felt too ashamed to ask for any financial help so little by little, I have regained some of my self-esteem and dignity back and it is a little better with his support to get by. My family lives in Florida and I have chosen for my pregnancy to remain a secret. I don not want the criticism as well as the stress this would put on my parents. Of course, they would be supportive of me off any decision but I have always been the ‘good one’ and the only hope to succeed in my family. The criticism would be too much. I don not care what any one else’s opinion is I am the one who lives with this decision. My ex-husband has stated he would be supportive whatever decision I made. Keeping the baby was never an option for me. The moment I found out I was pregnant I knew adoption was my choice. I care deeply about my little girl and I know the person who adopts this child will feel the same I also know this child is not meant for me but for someone else. I am not mentally nor physically prepared to become a mother again.
Thank you for the help to find parents for the unborn baby.
Sincerely,
Amanda ____.”
(Part II picks up the story when Khalid resurfaces.)
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